15 things I learned/realized/confirmed on my trip to Milwaukee

(stream-of-consciousness style, in no particular order)

1. Listening to "Requiem for a Dream" in a cabin in the woods is something everyone should try once. Nature sounds add a lot to it.

2. The Brewers' offense is good. Their pitching staff, however, is terrible.

3. People in Wisconsin don't know how to respond to the greeting "howdy." (In other words, they fail the "howdy, dammit" test. Yes, that's what it's called. I'm not using profanity without due cause.)

4. I can't be trusted around other people's laundry. I have this almost pathological need to disturb it. Not sure why. Yes, I realize how absurd this sounds.

5. Never tell my mother if you're planning to leave for any extended period of time without having all the logistics worked out. She'll freak.

6. Indianapolis is an easy city to drive through on the interstate.

7. Chicago is not. (Driving through large cities always reminds me why I would never want to live in one, at least unless it has an exceptional mass transit system. Traffic there is terrible, and it wasn't even rush hour either time I went through.)

8. Oil change technicians don't always remember to make sure your hood is securely reattached when they're finished. This almost led to total disaster on the road in Louisville. Luckily I've become pretty good at averting total disaster. I've had a lot of practice.

9. I can't remember the last time I drove to Louisville when there wasn't road work in progress on I-64. (And it never helps. Traffic in Louisville is almost as bad as Chicago.)

10. It isn't windy enough in Indiana for wind-generated electricity to be reliably, consistently viable. I didn't see any of those giant windmills actually turning while I was driving down the interstate, although it did remind me of Don Quixote.

11. Country music and pop are gradually becoming indistinguishable. Taylor Swift doesn't sing country music. So she sang about riding in a truck once. She also sings a song about freakin' Romeo and Juliet, which I have no problem with except that it isn't a topic typically found in country songs.

12. Speaking of which, commercial radio is insufferable. (Why? Commercials, naturally.)

13. You can't trust an alarm on a brand-new cell phone to work perfectly the first time you try to use it. (Especially if you didn't read the instructions.)

14. When you go to a cabin in the woods, remember to bring a book so you don't go completely insane. (Also remember a flashlight. And a towel. These should both be self-explanatory.)

15. Wear long sleeves -- or sunscreen -- when you drive for an extended period of time. Or else, one of your arms will get sunburned and the other won't. And then you're just lopsided, which is no fun at all.

All right. Enough foolishness for one day.